Fostering: We Are Officially Licensed!

On June 25, 2019 we received word from our FAD (Foster & Adoptive Home Development) worker that we have been officially approved by the state of Texas as Foster and prospective Adoptive Parents through the Department of Family and Protective Services! What initially came as a congratulatory text was quickly followed with a question that sent my little heart into paralysis- “Do you guys want to begin to accept placement now or wait until you return from your (upcoming) trip?”. 

Now? Like NOW? N-O-W?

You see- the entire licensing process has been a series of checklists, miles of red tape, weeks of classes and trainings, deep and extensive interviews with various workers and organizations, background checks, doctor visits, etc. In fact, we initially began this process six months ago when we sat down with a recruiter for a preliminary screening. We were told to approach things with a ‘Hurry up and WAIT’ mentality, so I just assumed that the final approval phase would unfold in similar fashion. We would have a few weeks to ‘nest’ still, add the finishing touches on our gender neutral nursery (Challenges on THAT topic coming up soon!), and then enjoy a leisurely vacation to celebrate the culmination of all of our efforts before launching into parenthood. In fact, our application had only been submitted 3 hours before and- yet- all of a sudden I found myself reading these life-changing texts while sitting in my friend’s living room floor…my heart and thoughts racing as my husband I shared our stunned excitement over the phone. 

Before you can really process this, you must understand that I have always felt that adoption was a calling placed upon my life by the Lord. It hasn’t been a sentiment that many have understood much less identified with, but I always felt that to ignore the drawing that I felt would be a grievance that I could not justify in my spirit. While I have always dreamed of international adoption, I became increasingly aware of the atrocities and injustices that children are facing within our own communities while working for CPS as a conservatorship worker. Did you know that recent data estimates that there are approximately 400,000 children in foster care in the United States on any given day?! I knew that I HAD to become part of the solution. 

When you are passionate about something so challenging and difficult, it will definitely help cull out people in your life that aren’t in alignment with God’s plan. Before marrying my husband, I had discussed my dream of being an adoptive parent with other potential suitors only to quickly realize that they didn’t have the capacity to love a child that was not biologically their own. From that first conversation about it, Josh was immediately on board and I knew that he would be an incredible father someday. While I still hope to make a little human with our hazel eyes and my curls, I have never doubted Josh’s ability to be an incredible foster parent. Josh’s own stepfather is his inspiration for wanting to be the difference-maker in the life of a child in need…children that may not have his DNA but will undoubtedly benefit from his Godly leadership, consistency, and immeasurable love. On top of all of that, he’s by far the most logical and mindful person I know! Me on the other hand? I am already worrying about our hypothetical future babies going to college on their own…

So, here I am on the brink of such an exciting season of promise and what I consider to be obedience to a call I’ve felt over my life for over a decade now, feeling such anxiety and self-doubt. Isn’t that just like the enemy? Ugh.

Not only has the STATE decided that I will be a good mother to a child in need…but GOD has decided that I’m ready for this! Furthermore, the ease and speed at which our application was approved is uncommon…a reality that I must attribute to nothing short of divine favor.  So…with all of this knowledge at hand, what do I have to fear? God’s plan has been set in motion…and man has confirmed it!

YET. I’m human and I’m scared….

…that I’ll get ‘too attached’ and be heartbroken.

…that it’ll be too hard balancing being a good wife and my responsibilities at home/church/work to be GOOD at any of them.

…that I’m not ready.

I’m not the only first-time mother (foster, biological, or adoptive) to have felt this way…and I’m surely not going to be the last. I’m sure there will be sleepless nights, calls to friends/family members for advice, tears of both joy and exasperation, and countless inquiries to Google ahead…but of this I’m sure: It is our heart’s desire to love whatever child God is preparing us for to the best of our ability…and HE has confidence in US!

So what does all of this look like from here on out? 
We could get a call at any time- day or night- with the news that a child needs us. While the CPS has approved us to foster/adopt any child from 0-8 years age, we are giving priority to a child in the 0-2 range and have our nursery, stroller, and infant carrier ready for action. As with any child in foster care, there will be many limitations to what we are able to share with you once our child comes to live with us. Many things will have to be kept private in order to maintain confidentiality and protection for our little one and their biological family, including their name or pictures where you can see their face. However, we will do our best to share with you as much as we feel that we are able and willing as things unfold.

We don’t know how long a child will be in our care. We may just be a temporary safe haven until their parents or other family members are able to care for them OR we could be their forever home- only time will tell. Our love for our coming child is growing in our hearts and spirits, just as it would for a biological child. This will make any child in our care our REAL, chosen, beloved son or daughter.

What can YOU do? Pray, ya’ll!

While WE are excited to become parents, we realize that entering into foster care will most likely be a challenging chapter of our coming child’s little life. Furthermore, children in foster care are removed for proven abuse or neglect…which means that the child that we are going to bring into our lives may currently be going through unspeakable pain and injustice right now. Bind with us to cover this child in prayer for their safety and for strength, peace, and comfort as they make the adjustment into our home. Pray for wisdom as we navigate first-time parenthood. We don’t need horror stories about terrible experiences or cautionary tales- We’ll take encouragement, prayer, and ALL the coffee. Please!

We are currently brainstorming a new hashtag to use when documenting our parenting/foster care adventures on social media!
Leave your vote in the comments:

#WelcomeToFosterhood

#FosterhoodFiles

#AuteryPartyof?